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Derniers Articles Health and fitness

Superiority, Ego, and Confidence

I recently re-watched some videos of me doing musical theater in high school (lol yep), and started thinking a lot about confidence. Looking back on ...
22-09-2020 21:45

Body Image and Learning to *Want* Different Things

I often see people in the anti-diet world attempting to convince folks to stop *wanting* to be thin, and roll my eyes. If giving up the desire to be ...
15-09-2020 21:48

Objectification & Body Image

Something that comes up as a very common source of body anxiety and obsession among my clients is the desire to be seen as attractive so that they ca...
08-09-2020 21:46

Body Image & Feelings

Today we?re going to talk about the role emotions play in the formation, continuation, and exacerbation of body image issues. The very short story is...
01-09-2020 22:20

Body Image & Self-Advocacy

What if I told you that in order to heal your body image issues, you needed to learn how to speak up for yourself" So many of my clients bump up agai...
25-08-2020 21:44

Body Image & Sex

I spent ALL of last week writing, recording, thinking, and talking about sex. To be honest, a week was way too short. There?s just too much to talk...
18-08-2020 21:44

The healing power of S-E-X

I struggled to figure out how to put this, but I?m just going to be direct: I?ve been having incredible sex lately. I don?t tell you this to brag (al...
11-08-2020 21:42

{#TransparentTuesday} 7 Reasons You Might Be Feeling Uncomfo

I?ve been thinking a lot lately about the idea of ?feeling uncomfortable? in our bodies. It comes up with clients all the time, as well as in the rea...
04-08-2020 21:45

What Men Want

I regularly have female clients who are single, struggling with body image issues because they?re afraid they?re not thin, pretty, beautiful, or sexy...
28-07-2020 21:43

On Bigotry & Ignorance

I used to be homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, and racist in ways that would shock you. If you read my work nowadays, you might assume I grew up w...
21-07-2020 21:44

“Do you like my body"”

After spending three months apart in quarantine, my boyfriend asked me what I thought about his body. He asked because he was slimmer pre-quarantine ...
14-07-2020 21:42

Overwhelm, racism, and where to begin.

Hi friend! I hope you had a great Independence Day weekend? now let?s talk about racism. I recently began a Foundations for Social Justice course wi...
07-07-2020 21:48

On Feeling Needy

Last week, in my relationship, I felt needy. I couldn?t put my finger on it exactly, but I felt sensitive, raw, emotional, and easily hurt/rejected b...
30-06-2020 21:40

Grief Work & Body Image

  Today I want to talk about the hugely important role of grief on the body neutrality journey. Grief is central to the body image healing work most...
25-06-2020 21:41

?I need to look good to find a partner.?

Many of my clients come to me harboring the belief that in order to find a partner (or keep a partner interested), you absolutely must be conventiona...
25-06-2020 21:41

The truth will set us free

I always encourage my clients to be truth-seekers , both because the truth will set us free, and because body image issues always point us toward a c...
25-06-2020 21:41

Allyship & Race

After the horrific death of George Floyd led to world-wide Black Lives Matter protests, I spent last week muted on social media, pausing ?business as...
25-06-2020 21:41

Quarantine Ugliness

Last week, I posted a photo of myself that I took right after ...
25-06-2020 21:41

Following The COVID guidelines"

So here?s a sticky thing? This pandemic began in the US as a public health crisis, but has become a controversial political issue/morally-loaded choo...
25-06-2020 21:41

Reaching Deeper for Love

There is a needy, unkind thing inside me. It?s a terrified and self-protective thing; a bit like a wounded animal, quick to attack when threatened. W...
25-06-2020 21:41

Social hierarchies & Body Image

The way we feel about our bodies is personal. We form a relationship with our bodies and ourselves throughout our lives, and like every relationship,...
25-06-2020 21:41

How often do you think about food"

How often do you think about food" Many of my clients spend a ton of mental energy thinking about what to eat, when to eat, how much to eat, and what...
25-06-2020 21:41

On Feeling Attractive

I was struck recently by the idea that so many people define ?body confidence? as the state of being attracted to their own bodies. It came from a co...
25-06-2020 21:41

What do I DO"

So? this is a weird fucking time, am I right" Personally I feel like we?ve all been stuck inside for about two years already, and it looks like April...
31-03-2020 21:56

A private love story.

The moment he took the camera away from his face, and I saw his eyes, I gasped. He was so pretty, like a girl. But also not like a girl at all. In fa...
24-03-2020 21:53

Corona Virus & Body Image

After having a few conversations with clients, I asked people on Instagram if the new ?social isolation? mandate was triggering their body image issu...
17-03-2020 21:55

Why I?m anti-weight-loss

People often express concern to me about the way intuitive eating, body positivity, and the fat acceptance movements ?encourage people to stop trying...
09-03-2020 21:56

Families, Gender Roles, and Life

When my brother?s first child was born I thought… that?s so weird. He?s someone?s dad now. I wondered what kind of dad Ben would be. I couldn?t sto...
03-03-2020 21:58

Another abuser in the fitness industry.

My friends, In today?s edition of ?which white dude in power just got outed for being an abuser"? I am writing through tears. As a passionate member ...
25-02-2020 22:00

Fear of Judgement

I often have clients say they wish they could stop caring so much what other people think of them and their bodies/appearance. It?s a tricky topic, b...
18-02-2020 21:52


I recently had a conversation with my client, who we?ll call Joanna, about fatphobia. Joanna is a very thin, white, blonde, and conventionally attrac...
11-02-2020 21:56


Recently, while on vacation in Hawaii, I happened to stumble upon a sort of hidden nude beach. I had read about it a few days earlier in my search fo...
04-02-2020 21:55

Generosity gone wrong

I recently had a client (who I?ll call River here) tell me that the only way she could feel confident or ?sexy? in bed was by knowing she looked hot ...
28-01-2020 21:57

The Beauty Bias

Yesterday was my birthday, and I got to celebrate it here in Hawaii with my mom, where I am right now (more on that another time). In order to stay p...
21-01-2020 21:58

Body image is your brain?s way of protecting you

When I was 18 I signed up for a yearlong full time dance program. I wanted to do musical theater, but I hadn?t gotten into the schools I wanted due t...
16-01-2020 21:57

Fear of being a burden

A client of mine recently told me that she felt liberated to talk about her problems with me, because she was paying for my time. She said the simple...
07-01-2020 21:56

We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know

**TW/CW** Before sitting down to write this, I did that thing where you look through photos from the end of 2009, to see what?s changed in the last ...
31-12-2019 21:53


Hi Friends, Today I want to talk about an important concept that comes up with a lot of my clients around body image: Laziness. When I work with someo...
24-12-2019 21:51


When I launched my online fitness business Remodel Fitness over six years ago, I had no idea how I was going to actually make money.  I didn?t know h...
17-12-2019 22:00

I?m not the right kind of person to run a business.

Last week was the 6 year anniversary of the launch of my online business (which started as a fitness brand) and I started reminiscing about the begin...
10-12-2019 21:50

I?m reading Twilight

I have something embarrassing to admit? I started reading the Twilight series (yes, the one about teenage vampires) and I can?t put it down. Admitted...
03-12-2019 21:53

For White People

Note: If you are not a white person, some of this email may not apply to you or be appropriate for you, as it?s geared toward white people still stru...
26-11-2019 21:52

Scale Obsessed

?How often do you weigh yourself"? ?Too often.? While I?ve had this exact same conversation with clients hundreds of times over the years, a client (...
19-11-2019 21:51

On Socialization

I occasionally find myself in conversation, talking about what I do for work, with a person who disagrees that ?society teaches girls and women that t...
12-11-2019 21:57

Elevator pitches

Over the years I have changed my ?elevator pitch? about what I do for work about a million times. (TBH, that?s partly just the nature of being a solo...
05-11-2019 21:51

Fuck Gender.

The more I learn about the ways in which we socialize children to perform gender, the more I find the whole concept of binary gender identification d...
29-10-2019 21:56

Body Image Basics

I?d like to go back to basics today. Sometimes I get questions like this: ?I have a friend who is struggling with body image or body dysmorphia, and ...
22-10-2019 21:56

The Most Beautiful Girl In the World

Hi friends!  I?ve never done this before, but today I have a guest post, a beautiful essay written by a wonderful human and client Courtney Paré. Lik...
15-10-2019 21:54

Are There drawbacks to the #MeToo Movement"

Recently I?ve started to wonder if there?s a downside to the #metoo movement. When I was growing up, people used to talk about rape and sexual assault...
08-10-2019 21:52

Sex Myths

I?ve been thinking a lot lately about sexual attraction and arousal. As I come to the end of my two year clinical sexology program, I?ve been reflect...
01-10-2019 21:52

Who brings out the best in you"

When I?m getting to know a new person, I often find myself reflecting their vibe back to them. It?s human nature in some ways; we?re wired to mirror e...
24-09-2019 21:52

How to Pull Friends Out Of Thin Air

Recently (as you may know if you follow my instagram stories) I got stood up for a date at the verrrrry last second. The short story: while waiting a...
17-09-2019 21:52

White Nationalism Recruitment Strategies

At a recent event for racial justice I attended, I saw panelist Shelly Tochluk (author of books Witnessing Whiteness and Living in the Tension) speak...
10-09-2019 21:51

Inspirational" No thx.

I?m not interested in inspiring people anymore. Being ?inspirational? used to be a fundamental part of what I thought I was doing, as a writer and c...
03-09-2019 21:56

Why I Call Myself a Truth Seeker

You might not know this since I?m constantly talking about body image, gender roles, and fighting systems of invisible oppression in my free public w...
27-08-2019 21:54

Complete Domestic Incompetence

A few weeks ago I wrote about emotional labor, and how women partnered with men found themselves involuntarily tasked with doing the majority of it, ...
20-08-2019 21:50

Mass Murder, Men, and Whiteness

Last week I saw two distinct sides of an emerging debate surrounding our country?s mass shooting (mass murder) problem. On the one hand, some people ...
13-08-2019 21:51

Beauty = Status

Conventional beauty is a status symbol for women in our culture. Like it or not, thinness and other markers of conventional beauty and femininity are...
06-08-2019 22:00

{#TransparentTuesday} On STRAIGHT MEN.

  I?ve had hundreds of conversations with women who are partnered with men this year, who are fucking struggling. What I?m seeing is that right now ...
30-07-2019 22:01

Some changes a-coming!

I?m currently processing what happened during my recent ABC launch, and also my overall relationship to social media, and what those two things mean ...
23-07-2019 21:50

Embracing my too-muchness

Ever since I was a child I felt like I was?too much.? Too much energy, too much desire, too emotional, too needy, too much work, too aggressive, too ...
16-07-2019 21:53

Self-Improvement & Self-Love

Listen up ya?ll. Yesterday I got an email from a woman who was considering joining my body confidence group coaching program, but wasn?t sure if it w...
09-07-2019 21:52

Autonomy & Connection

Hi friends, I recently DMed with someone who was feeling very confused about my official stance on what we need in order to heal body image issues. O...
02-07-2019 21:54

Food Guilt

Let?s talk about food guilt. As you may already know if you took my free Be a Body Rebel mini-course (tomorrow is the last day to enroll!), I am not ...
25-06-2019 22:06

{#TransparentTuesday} Body Obsession

When I was 22 years old, I didn?t think very highly of myself as a person. I knew I was funny (duh) but I also ?knew? I was selfish, unkind, lazy, th...
18-06-2019 21:54

Body image distortions

I named my first TEDx talk The Case for Radical Vanity. In it, I outlined a proposal for why women should rebel against the culturally accepted idea ...
11-06-2019 21:57

{#TransparentTuesday} I Don?t Help People Lose Weight Anymor

When I was a personal trainer in NYC, I helped people lose weight. I called what we did ?fat loss? at the time, because it seemed more accurate and ...
04-06-2019 21:51

{#TransparentTuesday} Fear of disconnection

If you hired a coach to help you improve your confidence in the bedroom, you might assume that coach would teach you fancy sex tricks, introduce you ...
03-06-2019 21:55

I am NOT Offended

  Recently a video of me going braless and embracing my natural boob-jiggle went viral among pages of men dedicated to objectifying and sexualizing ...
21-05-2019 21:52

{#TransparentTuesday} Sex and socialism.

I recently read the book Why Women Have Better Sex Under Socialism And Other Arguments for Economic Independence by Kristen Ghodsee, and tbh it was p...
14-05-2019 21:55

{#TransparentTuesday} Perfectionism = Armor

CW: Contains distressing but fictional stories. Lisa is 5 years old. Her mom is abusive, screaming obscenities, name-calling and hitting her at home...
07-05-2019 21:53
06-05-2019 22:00

{#TransparentTuesday} Queer Sex & Dating

So, dating women is fascinating. I?ve been pursuing my queer side lately, and there have been many moments of realization and insight that challenge ...
30-04-2019 21:54

{#TransparentTuesday} Thin Privilege

I have thin privilege. I suppose I?ve probably written about this before, but even if so, it?s worth exploring again as my understanding of my own p...
23-04-2019 21:56

{#TransparentTuesday} Anti-Racism Work.

  Over the last few years, I?ve been slowly educating myself about racism and racial justice work. I haven?t had much opportunity to get involved in...
16-04-2019 22:01

{#TransparentTuesday} On feeling ?too big.?

Lately I?ve been thinking a lot about the term ?big? when it comes to body image. Similar to ?fat? and ?huge,? many of my clients use the word ?big? ...
09-04-2019 21:57

{#TransparentTuesday} Emotional Eating

I recently spent a few days with a lover, in which we shared some amazing meals, drinks, nourishing conversations, cuddle time, and sex. During our t...
03-04-2019 21:57

{#TransparentTuesday} On Being Queer

Buckle up, today I?m gonna talk about being queer. It?s worth noting that I?ve shied away from this conversation for a long time, but it?s important...
26-03-2019 21:53

Don’t Teach Your Boys to “Respect Women.”

When men say they ?respect women?, or women say they teach their sons to ?respect women,? I cringe. Don?t get me wrong, I do believe we need to teach...
19-03-2019 21:54

{#TransparentTuesday} Boobs & Confidence

Last week I posted a braless video, where my tits were all jiggly and free, on social media. It was accompanied by a piece of writing about how breas...
12-03-2019 21:55

{#TransparentTuesday} Our guts are NEVER WRONG

Years ago I met a man who was/is a big deal in the online fitness business world. At the time, he was nothing but outwardly kind to me, but I immedia...
05-03-2019 21:53

{#TransparentTuesday} Social Anxiety

I used to suffer from absolutely crippling social anxiety. I have vivid memories of going into a complete freeze response when a co-worker asked me t...
26-02-2019 21:55

{#TransparentTuesday} Why I Love My Fear.

After 16 hours in the car over two days, I wanted to challenge my body and get into nature. I looked up hikes near me in El Paso Texas, searching for...
19-02-2019 21:52

{#TransparentTuesday} No more giggles.

In a workshop this fall in NYC, I was teaching a group of women how to stand up to men whose behavior was on the inappropriate spectrum, from sexual ...
12-02-2019 21:51

{#TransparentTuesday} The Magic of Tidying Up.

Have you heard of Marie Kondo" For those of you who haven?t, Marie wrote the book The Magic of Tidying Up, and has a new show on Netflix in which she...
05-02-2019 21:53

{#TransparentTuesday} Social Media ?Influencing”

I?m a person who markets my business on the internet. I?ve always found social media to be a rich source for networking and connecting with clients, ...
29-01-2019 21:52

{#TransparentTuesday} I don?t care about body image.

Despite what you might think, I don?t believe loving your body is, in and of itself, a particularly important accomplishment. I don?t even specifical...
22-01-2019 21:54

{#TransparentTuesday} Food and fatphobia.

I?ve eaten pretty healthy ever since I discovered in my early 20s that a diet made up mostly of ramen noodles and gummy candy made me feel like shit....
15-01-2019 21:53

{#TransparentTuesday} ?I wanna get in sick shape.?

I recently had a call with a new client, who was feeling guilty about wanting to lose some weight and look ?hot as fuck? for the new year. She told m...
08-01-2019 21:56

The Importance of Self-Acceptance on Body Image

The Importance of Self-Acceptance. ?We can?t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.? ? Lori Deschene In order to unconditionally love...
18-12-2018 21:51

{#TransparentTuesday} Consent & Sexual Coercion

I recently had an interesting discussion on the nature of sexual consent with my friend and men?s coach Traver Bohm in which he revealed that he (and...
11-12-2018 21:59

{#TransparentTuesday} Exploring BDSM

I?m taking a course right now on the psychology of kink (specifically on dominance/submission, BDSM, and fetishes) for my clinical sexology program, ...
04-12-2018 21:52

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